Otto: …So here was this really rare special item that some fat kid had found, and here I am starting to lose my mind. Trust me, this fat German kid already had everything in the world and now THIS!? I just wanted to snatch the damn thing away from him, so I ended up making plans to steal the thing away from him and switch it with a forgery or something…and I failed miserably.
Dieter: So, you actually failed really badly?…Not surprising.
Otto: *Shudders* Yeah, don’t ask…it’s not really your business to know, kid.
Hell, what hurt the most was that the kid was allowed to take one person with him, and he didn’t even consider inviting me along or anything because I wasn’t his mother or father! You know, that kind of snobby, ungratefulness really fires me up! I cooked delicious food for the damn kid many times, and this is how he repays me!?!?!
*Hands ball up into fists of fury*
Then, I will never forget the day this guy dressed in a swanky purple suit walked out of the entrance doors, and he did some weird thing where he walked like he was a sad, crippled man and then he was like GOTCHA…and shocked everyone to death when we all found out that it was all an ACT.
Dieter: Yawn, I win the card game again…*lays down his last card in his hand*
Otto: *Eyes widening* *Ignoring everything else* It was the weirdest sh*t I had ever seen on live TV ever! I don’t think I was prepared to see anything like that, and I never thought I would ever see anything like that. It wasn’t until I met some amazing Japanese doctor who claimed that some blonde, white, male, skinny puke was trying to take over the world or something then I realized it was the same crazy sh*t all over again…
…But after that day, when the kid went inside of that factory to go on some fancy schmancy tour, I don’t think I ever saw him again for many years, so I guess something either really awesome or really crappy happened to him, who knows? I hope something bad happened to him, though, cuz I think he’s a little sh*t who stole every chance I ever had of gaining happiness, fame, and glory.
Wahey, do you know what I found out, though? I discovered that I could live happily ever after stealing things with a much better success rate. The End.
Dieter: No wonder your front teeth are so big. They must be just like Pinocchio’s nose and grow every time you lie or exaggerate the truth…
Otto: Whaaa…? You think I lie all the damn time don’t you kid, but I DON’T and I am NOT right now! I know it sounds crazy, but all of it is 100% true. I don’t need some dumb kid telling me what’s right and what’s wrong anyway.
Dieter: You lifted that story right out of a kid’s book! At least you could try to lie a little better…
Otto: Grrrr…SHUT UP! I did not! I will put tape over your mouth if you talk back to me one more time AND insult my teeth!
And why do you have to ruin something personal and dear to me you little snot nosed monster!? Just wait and see if I don’t put something nasty in your food…
Dieter: You wouldn’t do that! Tenma would kick your butt!